A Galaxy Social Distanced

We can all agree that the number one planet to NOT follow social distance guidelines would be Coruscant. (or any ecumenopolis for that matter.) But if our beloved Star Wars galaxy fell into a pandemic of galactic proportions, where would be the best place to go? Where would the worst place in the galaxy be? To quote Qui-Gon, “To Coruscant.”

The best options –

1. Jakku

Hello, Rey did it for almost 13 years on her own AND wore a mask. She only went into town when absolutely necessary for supplies. Everyone settled on Jakku was marginally spread out, at least surrounding Niima Outpost. With the exception of villages like Tuanul, its a very solitary life on Jakku. Even in those villages though, they would be able to peacefully maintain social distancing.

2. Naboo

There are two things that could develop for Naboo here. The citizens in the city of Theed would either comply with the social distancing guidelines, being the well informed citizens they are, or totally rebel. (Being the well informed citizens that they are) There is no in between. Half the population of Theed probably has homes in the Lake Country anyway, they can go there and stay in their vacation homes, and stay there, till this all blows over.

Meanwhile down in Otah Gunga, they’re literally living in bubbles. The entire sports world, in our world, is trying to restart their events and get their athletes to live in their own fabricated bubbles. The Gungans are a step ahead of the galaxy here living in their preexisting ones.

3. Exegol

Next to impossible to find? Check.

Questionable if it even actually exists Double check.

Is anyone there actually alive? Triple check.

Actually, maybe one Sith lord and everyone else is halfway gone as it is or dead. A perfect hideout to avoid accidentally getting too close to someone.

4. Crait

Crait is out of the way and off the major hyperspace routes, and conveniently seemingly abandoned at first glance. Is it practical to live on? Not really. The only shelter available might be infested with vulptices. But, it is desolate and out of the way with more than enough space for proper social distancing.

5. Ahch-To

Ahch-To may be on the top of everyone’s lists, since Luke was able to do it for 10 years! He only went to visit the caretakers when absolutely necessary to trade, but otherwise it was the solitary life for him. Absolutely PERFECT for social distancing. As long as you don’t mind the constant porg calls at all hours of the day and the mysterious looming presence of a sea monster. We may have only seen one island in The Last Jedi, but there’s potential for an infinite amount of islands on the planet! Everyone gets their own, the best way to really spread out.

DO NOT travel –

Now, the ones to absolutely avoid unless you really, really need to go there-

1. Coruscant

It would be next to impossible to maintain actual social distancing within Coruscant. Think New York City, but, the entire planet. You can mandate that people stay in their homes the entire time, and they will try their best. Corsuscant’s government will be sure to have strict rules and procedures in place.

But what about those lower levels of the city? The homeless, the street gangs, the entire underworld will still carry on business as usual. Maybe they’ll take precautions, but they most likely won’t since it isn’t practical for their business. Underworld business IS essential business.

On the upper levels, working from home is definitely an option. This might be the only developed planet with the option for remote working. The Wharf in the lower levels might be on to something with their outdoor dining though..

2. Corellia

Ahhh, you smell that? I love the combined smell of a Corellian assembly line mixed with busy fishery right next door. Corellia is vital to the economy of the galaxy. These workers will not have a choice to work from home or to take time off. Plans will have to be put in place to protect these factory workers, but it’s never enough. The residents of Corellia, and other simliar planets such as Kuat, need to carry on with their lives and hope for the best.

3. Nar Shadda

Nar Shaddaa, talk about another wretched hive. Known as Smuggler’s Moon of Nal Hutta, it’s essentially the Coruscant underworld. But the entire planet, or moon actually, is engulfed by it. Is it clean there? Does anyone wash their hands? Is this even a good idea to be on this rock when you don’t need to social distance? Nope.

The denizens of this moon don’t care about that though, they will continue on with their lives. Because, smuggling business is also an essential business.

Nar Shaddaa is controlled by the Hutts, but even so they do not have complete control. No protocols would be put into effect to protect the residents, it would be every person for themselves. They probably wouldn’t even get the social distancing memo until it was beyond too late.

4. The Death Star

Look at this meeting, you guys totally have the technology to do a zoom call. Sure they use that tech later on, but that’s about the only big win for the Empire here in a social distancing situation. We’re not going to to comment on the whole “it’s a bunch of old white dudes in a room making policies for the galaxy” thing right now.

If one person get’s sick, it’s going to spread like a coaxium fueled fire. The Empire would totally be running with the “everything is fine, and you don’t need to worry about it” policy until it gets to a point where it is definitely not fine. Then they’d launch their emergency plans, which would have been covered in basic training of course. Troopers and officers would spring into action, thinking maybe it’s another drill but oh no, they’re actually quarantined within the station. They’d try their best at containment, but with the limited space it’d be tricky to really get what they need accomplished.

5. Bracca

It’s not overpopulated in the slightest and it barely has an organized governing body. The Scrapper Guild runs the planet, and the guild itself attracts the kind of beings that aren’t wanted anywhere else in the galaxy. Their residences and workplaces don’t really leave room for any kind of social distancing. We don’t even know much about what their medical facilities look like, if they even have an organized facility. One wrong step on this world and you’re falling into the mouth of the Ibdis Maw. That might be their method of dealing with a pandemic. You’re infected? Off to the Ibdis Maw with you!

On the fringe

You might be OK on these planets but best not to press your luck to far-

1. Batuu

You might be wondering, ah Batuu is a great place to go way out there on the edge of the Outer Rim! No one goes there! But that’s the thing, everyone goes there. It’s a hopping place. Black Spire isn’t that big of a settlement either, you’re constantly brushing shoulders with residents and travelers from across the galaxy. Of course, if there was the option to spread out into the wilds of the planet it might be a viable option. But if we’re talking just settling in the town, nah. Social Distancing is not an option here. Unless, some higher government locks down all travel to the region and no one gets in. Wait.

2. Mandalore

There are a lot of pros and cons for Mandalore. If we’re just talking about social distancing here, might not be the best space to do so. In the areas where Mandalore is actually inhabited, it’s a city. Cities are the hardest places to social distance as we’ve covered earlier. However this is the only place where if a mandate came down about mandatory masks in public, all citizens would comply. A Mandalorian is more than their armor, and they will do what’s best for their people. And that is to wear a mask.

3. Kamino

Kamino is the highest tech of high tech in the galaxy. They definitely know a thing or two about quarantines and dieseases and keeping things under wraps… But, with all their technology and protocols it’s all just for cloning. Sometimes, the smartest people fail at the simplest tasks. An illness would spread very quickly in a facility like the ones on Kamino. They may be able to toss a lid on it and stop further spread of it, but I doubt they would be willing to accept refugees to ride out a disease spreading around the galaxy. They would be working on researching how to cure the diseases but would be hesitant to share it with others. If you’re not a Kaminoan or a clone of Jango, you’re not gettng help here.

4. Takodana

Another location that could go either way. There is so much we do not know about Takodana as we’ve only seen Maz Kanata’s castle. A destination which is famous across the galaxy for it’s hospitality. With travelers coming and going daily it’d be a very dangerous locale to maintain a safe distance from each other. That being said, Maz would totally enforce social distancing with a heavy hand. It’s her word or your out on your own, when it comes down to her castle. As long as you’re following her rules, it’d be a great place to stay.

5. Bespin

An isolated city such as Cloud City might just be a good place to hole up in a pandemic, maybe. Across Bespin other smaller settlements exist, but mainly just mining colonies. Anything in the mining industry would be considered essential work, and therefore a risk to be in that living space. At least within Cloud City it seems as though it’d be a doable place for social distancing. The apartments throughout the city are well equipped and should be comfortable for extended stays. But, remember that evacuation of the city? A total mess. Who actually got out? The citizens are not prepped for this kind of event, no one has sent them an emergency preparedness guide. They did all evacuate upon the call though, these citizens would be very likely to follow any guidance from leadership as directed. This place is getting better the more we look at it.

Author: jammthejedi

Just a Jedi from Jakku-ston

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