Have you ever wondered which Star Wars character your favorite football team would draft? Probably not. Well my crazy brain thought of it and now you’re free to pick apart my thoughts…
Now this certainly isn’t a “ranking” of Star Wars characters, it’s a draft. Many teams (which I’ve renamed accordingly) are terrible at scouting and drafting players and you’ll see some of that translate here.
Have fun with it people.
Cincinnati Lothcats: Darth Vader -An easy choice for first overall. Vader will make an immediate impact for this team, setting the tone for championship play.
Washington Gungans: Jar Jar Binks– It’s clear Washington isn’t the best organization in the league and this pick proves that. Binks has raw talent with his speed and jumping abilities but scouts don’t think he’ll pan out at the professional level. This has bust written all over it.
Detroit Rock-Lions: Han Solo– The former smuggler turned (field) General will provide great leadership for the Rock-Lions, just what they need to be taken seriously.
New York Rancors: Yoda -The Jedi master has the skill to be the best pick in the draft so it was a bit surprising to see him drop to #4, but hey the Rancors certainly aren’t complaining. This addition will make NY a contender in the years to come, especially with Yoda in his prime of 800 something years old.
Miami Gooberfish: Kylo Ren -Ren poses some off the field issues for sure. He didn’t finish his school career because of it but Miami thinks he’s worth the risk as they see the good in him. Not to mention his raw, untamed power.
LA Force Lighting: Rey– Rey has the potential to be one of the best in the league. Her ability and strength is as good as anyone we’ve ever seen but she just needs the right coaching.
Carolina Tookas: Obi-Wan Kenobi– A great pick. Kenobi is as steady as they come and could turn into a real mentor to his fellow teammates.
Arizona Starbirds: Qui-Gon Jinn– A stubborn Jedi but a great one. Arizona should be ecstatic about this choice as Jinn is as smart as he is calm. A true leader.
Jacksonville Lothwolves: General Grevious– It’s not surprising to see Jacksonville go with the sexy pick. This is a boom or bust choice for sure as Grevious has the skills (he was of course trained by Count Dooku) but not the poise to be a great general.
Cleveland Jawas: Jabba the Hutt– Cleveland needed some help on the offensive line and this pick should anchor down protection for their quarterback for sure. A very nice pick.
NY Starfighters: Anakin Skywalker– Surprising to see one of the most powerful Jedi fall this far. Like Ren, many were worried about his off the field issues as well as his commitment issues. Skywalker transferred from a few different college teams as he saw through the lies of their recruiting programs.
Las Vegas Smugglers: Lando Calrissian– What better place for this smuggler/gambler to land than Vegas. Lando has shown his eagerness for a championship but he may be chasing a bigger contract elsewhere in a few seasons.
Indianapolis Orbaks: Luke Skywalker– A perfect setting for the farmboy. Indy is in need of an offensive leader and Skywalker brings that to the table. He should be a franchise quarterback from day one.
Tampa Bay Marauders: Jek Porkins– Another team in need of some offensive line help. Porkins should be a great option for Tom Brady’s blindside in 2020.
Denver Dewbacks: Boba Fett– This bounty hunter should be a great defensive back for Denver. His agility (due to his jetpack) and versatility will make the Dewbacks a force on defense.
Atlanta Convors: Ahsoka Tano– Possibly the toughest and grittiest player in the draft. Tano brings tenacity and some serious “force” to her game, just what a soft Atlanta team needs.
Dallas Mandalorians: Bossk– Dallas was eyeing Fett all the way but with him off the board they settled for Bossk. This bounty hunter is no way near Fett level but he’ll provide some intimidation for the Mando defense in the years to come as one of the best guys in the draft to get after the quarterback.
Pittsburgh Haysian-Smelters: Sebulba– A bit of a head scratcher but Sebulba’s competitiveness and championship drive is perfect for the Smelters. He was caught cheating on several occasions but Pittsburgh is willing to work with that.
Chicago Blurrgs: Din Djarin – There isn’t much tape on this bounty hunter but with what we’ve seen he could certainly be as great as a Fett or Bossk. If he pans out he’ll be a rock solid choice to bolster Chicago’s infamous defense.
LA Tauntauns: Cara Dune– A straight up beast. The former shock trooper posted the best bench press at the combine but with some injury concern her draft stock fell. If healthy, Dune could be one of the best picks in this draft.
Philadelphia Cloudrippers: Mace Windu– Once known as a top two Jedi, Windu has fallen off a bit with injuries sustained in the Revenge of The Sith Bowl. Scouts don’t see him bouncing back to his old self but Philly thinks otherwise.
Buffalo Banthas: Greedo– A gritty choice for Buffalo as they look to win the AFC East in 2020. Greedo’s speed and reaction time is a big concern but his loyal-ness and ability to be coached is unmatched.
New England Rebels: R2D2– There were rumors that the Rebels would trade this pick but instead they went with this droid. An interesting choice as Astromechs aren’t projected to go until round 3 but who are we to doubt Emperor Belichick. R2, while small in size, could be a great slot option for New England.
New Orleans Night Sisters: IG-11– New Orleans might’ve just become one of the most athletic teams with this pick. IG can catch anything that comes his way has hall of fame type reaction time. He’ll be a great target for Drew Brees.
Minnesota Nihil: Kit Fisto– A surprising pick as the Nihil take a Jedi quarterback. They must not have too much faith in their current QB, Kirk Cousins, even though he’s one of the highest paid in the league. Fisto has always been well liked in the locker room with his positive attitude.
Houston Espans: Wedge Antilles– A safe pick. Antilles is as smart as they come and he rarely takes any big risks like fellow pilot Poe Dameron. There’s nothing crazy about this choice but there’s nothing bad either.
Seattle Porgs: Chewbacca– One of the biggest surprises of the draft is that this Wookie fell this far. He didn’t play for a top tier school so maybe there wasn’t much attention to him but Chewie will be a force for Seattle’s D, as well as a super loyal player under coach Pete Carroll.
Baltimore Mynocks: Jyn Erso– She’ll forever whatever it takes to win, perfect for Baltimore as they lost their mojo in last year’s playoffs. Erso will be a huge spark for the Mynocks.
Tennessee Mythosaurs: Thrawn– Possibly the best strategic mind in the draft…and the guy is straight up swole. You wouldn’t think it by looking at him but he’s a heck of a fighter.
Green Bay Moof-Milkers: BB-8– Green Bay needs a versatile player on offense to help Aaron Rodgers and this droid brings that to the table. BB is a great option in the run or pass game..and he can even kick if need be.
San Francisco ABYers: Padme Amidala– Leadership may have been a big issue as they blew the Super Bowl to the Gaffis last season. The former queen is the perfect choice for San Fran as they look to get back to the big game.
Kansas City Gaffis: Poe Dameron– A high flying offense just got even faster with the addition of Dameron. The risk taking flyboy will be a great option for Mahomes and the defending champions.
